You can keep your 401k. Being an affiliate, especially a successful one has its own set of benefits. Following is a list of ten benefits that we affiliates have that more than make up for the lack of a standard package. While the list is mainly for entertainment purposes, there are a few real gems tossed in.

1. Participation in affiliate forums, message boards and conferences means you’re never short of a friend with purchase advice.

2. Your well ranked, highly trafficked, PR 6 diaper review blog just might lead to loads of free diapers in the mail…

3. Your increasing waistline is a great excuse to buy new jeans, a new treadmill and new trainers - all from programs you’re associated with.

4. When solicitors call for Mr. or Mrs. #insert_name#, you can fend them off easily with “May I ask what this is regarding? I’m sorry, you are aware this is a business number…?”

5. Your hard work has lead to the distinction of “Super Affiliate.” You don’t actually get a cape, but the pay isn’t bad.

6. The fraudulent PPC traffic you pay for on your airline mileage credit card adds up to free airfare for two, anywhere in the world, six or seven times a year.

7. Commissions on your initial mileage card application will pay for a really nice bottle of wine… Just as soon as you earn $20 more to cross the $50 minimum payout threshold.

8. Constant stats checking has given rise to on-the-fly math calculations unseen since college.

9. Your previous attempts to foster an aura of mystery pale in comparison to just honestly trying to explain what the hell it is you do for a living.

10. Lame attempts to entertain you provided free of charge…

Okay, that was stupid. Sue me…

Cheers!